Welcome to Sergeant Boo-Yow's Boot Camp!-----
Attention!!!
You are now in Boot Camp. This is the roughest boot camp in the world. Only a third of you will make it to the end. You will come in direct contact with the biggest badest enemy you will ever meet; ~ YOURSELF. My name is Sergeant Boo-Yow. I'm a survivor of the Battle of the Bulge and I'm going to share with you ten thousand dirty little tricks that I honed on the battlefield.
In time you will come to look upon me as the enemy, but the truth is that I'm the best friend you got. It is my job to provide you with the combat skills you will need to kick some serious ass. And believe me my friend when I say that this is WAR in the trenches. There will be no prisoners taken, no quarter given, and no surrender. In this battle of the BULGE we will be up against an enemy who is skillful and ruthless. The enemy is well entrenched and he has us totally outnumbered. We will sustain heavy casualties but for those of us who persevere, ~ "to the victor will go the spoils of war".
Below is the first Boot Camp initiative.
JUNK FOOD
Make a list of everything that you eat that you yourself would define as junk food. Now ask yourself why do you think they call it Junk Food? And now ask yourself why would you put it in your mouth? If they called it POOP FOOD or DOO-DOO FOOD you wouldn't eat it! So why do you eat it? Why do you crave it? Before we come down too hard on ourselves we need to understand that a lot of the food that we have labeled as junk food has been totally manipulated to create cravings in us. Just like the tobacco industry manipulated the levels of nicotine in cigarettes to bring about addiction, active ingredients have been added to junk food to build up cravings. For instance MSG was added to baby food in the fifties because they found that babies would eat much more of it. One spoon would bring on the desire for another spoon. But tests also showed that MSG caused changes in the brain chemistry, so Congress passed a bill that MSG could not be added to baby food. Glutamic Acid is the active ingredient in MSG. Glutamic Acid can be found in a lot of natural foods like apples which have low levels of Glutamic Acid in them. So what the baby food companies did was increase the concentration of Glutamic Acid from natural sources. Then they put on the label "Contains no MSG" but really the baby food contained higher levels of Glutamic Acid than before. And the label says "Natural Flavorings". So we became addicted to this junk in early childhood. And only by declaring all-out war can we hope to stem the effects addiction.
That is what I'm here for: To give you the ammunition to wage war on the junk food cravings. And the way we will do this is to give you substitutes, recipes that you can easily make that will take the place of what we all agree are junk foods.
But your first mission is to not put anything in your mouth that you have on your list of junk foods for at least one week.
Dismissed.